How it happened was like this: a whole mess of us got runnin’ ’round in the middle of the night and we all decided it was too late to stop but be we ain’ have nowheres to go. We started gwan up the road to see what there was to see up there, and there ... More »

Greetings. I am Sir Chadwick the Bold. Of Devonshire. Who once hath slain the mighty dragon of Rangun! Who once hath ended the tyrannical rule of the evil Prince Nesbit! And who stands before you today…to… (fumbles for note, adjusts his glasses) to congratulate Benny Liebowitz on this the ... More »

Oh, man, I am BEAT. That was just a helluva workout, Jesus. I tell you, people who tell you hot dog eating contests are just jokes, just carnival stuff, phew, you tell ‘em to come down to Coney Island on July 23rd! You think those aren’t twenty-five of America’s finest ATH-letes out there, ... More »

(TWEEEE) No running around the outside of the pool, guys. (TWEEEEEE) Kevin, come on, no running, knock it off, you’re gonna hurt yourselves. (TWEEEEEEEE) GUYS. KEVIN, I mean YOU. Come ON. (TWEEEEEEEEE) OK, look, I don’t know if you’re just ignoring me, or not hearing me, or what, but seriously, stop running. ... More »

Helloooooo Sandusky! Ha! You guys are in for one teeee-reat of a show! Wee hoo! My name is Melonhead Jones. (applause) Thank you! Thank you. Well, you guys are in for a teee-reat, as I said, because I have great night of comedy ready for you guys! (applause) ... More »