(the door opens, two guys get in) Hmm? Oh, I’m going to the 19th floor. Thanks.
Right, yeah, the ad firm. That’s, heh, that’s me. The ad firm. You’re with… Ray’s Pizza? Or is that…?
Oh, OK, yeah, we… order from there a lot.
Oh, well, you know, different stuff, I do a lot of computer stuff, designing things, ads, and what-not. Well, for, like, I don’t know, a lot of it for people you wouldn’t know. We did a thing for Adidas last year, that’s the last one that–
Right, yeah, the shoes. Well, this particular one was in Rolling Stone; it was, like, these– a young woman and a young man running on the beach, a picture of them, and then you know, just some text, words, on the bottom. I laid it out, and–
Yeah, she was… you know, heh, pretty hot, yeah.
Well, I wasn’t at the shoot– When we took the pictures, I wasn’t there, so I… you know.
Yeah, well, there are some cute girls who work up there, yeah.
No.
Heh, heh… no.
No.
Look, no, I haven’t. If you don’t mind, I’m not feeling well, and I didn’t really expect to have a big conversation right now, OK? Thank you.
Look. Sorry. I’m– I asked one of the girls in my office out recently, at this company… thing, and she, you know, shot me down, and… a lot of people were there, so… yes, there are some cute girls there, but… they’re… not for me, I guess? OK? That’s all I meant.
She, well, OK, hmm… she has dark hair, like brown, comes about to here. She has glasses, thick rims, those glasses, you know, those ones that everybody, yeah, right, and…. Like this tall, about.
Yeah, a white girl.
Yeah.
Heh, yes, she has nice… breasts. But, look, it doesn’t matter, right? So…. I dunno; she’s seeing some guy I think.
Yeah, probably.
Heh, yeah, I guess. But like I said, I wasn’t at the shoot, so I didn’t meet the Adidas Girl.
Yeah.
Thanks, I just got it actually. This is the first time I’m wearing it.
Um, heh, well, yeah, I do OK.
Eh, no, not quite.
No, not… quite.
No.
No.
No.
About that much, yeah.
Well, it’s my first year here.
Yeah, well, it’s a very competitive market, you know? Look, I don’t want to know–
I didn’t ask you what you make, and maybe that’s because I don’t really want to know? Ever thought of that?
Look, you know, I’m sorry. I mean, yes, I’d like to be doing better, but this is it for me right now, and that’s how it goes.
Yeah, I did though. Last month. “There’s not room in the budget this quarter,” is what they said, but it’s bullshit because–
Yeah, well, it is all bullshit, you’re right.
Ha! Yeah, they don’t know what they’re missing.
Yeah, her too! Heh.
Well, I don’t know if I’d say it’d be the… “fuck of her life”, but, yeah, I do think I’d, you know… I could make her happy.
Heh, aw, I dunno.
Heh, look, let’s not get into–
Heh, sure, yeah, “I’m a big guy,” OK? Ha ha, OK.
Heh, look, I–
No, not quite that big, heh, but–
No, I mean, no one’s actually that big, man. No.
Look it’s big enough, OK? Why don’t we–
No.
No.
No.
No.
No. Look, I said I wouldn’t tell you so you’re purposely guessing in really small increments in order to–
I don’t want to tell a total stranger the size of–
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Four and a quarter!!! OK?! You happy now? Is everyone fucking happy?! I haven’t had a girlfriend in five years, I apparently make less than a god damned pizza delivery guy, and my penis is four and a half inches long!! You happy?!
Fine!! four and a quarter, whatever the hell I said before!! God damn it! Why–
What?!
Oh. Fuck. Yeah, I guess it is on 18 and not 19. (sigh) Fuck…. thanks.
Yeah, sure, “see you later,” too.
What?
No, don’t worry about it, I don’t–
Well, sure, but don’t worry about it, I–
What? Well, yeah… yes, I guess I do!
Yes! Yes, yes, yes! (he gets out, the elevator door closes)
(sigh) No.
