A young couple walk up to a painting in an art gallery and stop.
COURTNEY
This one’s sort of nice, Rich. This old man with the guitar here.
RICHARD
Courtney…you know this painting.
COURTNEY
No. No, I don’t, dear.
RICHARD
Courtney, this is “The Old Guitarist.” Picasso? The Blue Period? Honey, I studied Picasso for three years. I did my master’s on the Blue Period. I spent almost half of grad school staring at this exact painting. Don’t you…remember?
COURTNEY
Sorry, dear, you know I stay away from you and your little paintings when you’re studying. It certainly is very blue colored.
RICHARD
Well. It was during his, ah, his Blue Period. All his paintings then were mainly in different shades of blue. Picasso was…very sad during this period. He was…so very sad.
COURTNEY
He kinda looks like my uncle Robert a little, don’t you think, honey? ‘Course Robert never played the guitar, but…I guess Picasso didn’t do realistic stuff.
RICHARD
You know, no one really seemed to understand Picasso. Not even those…close to him. He was very misunderstood.
COURTNEY
You know I’ve always liked that Norman Rockwell. Now he was a genius. Any of his earlier things. The stuff with puppies or barbers. Or Santa.
RICHARD
My God, Honey. Picasso was surrounded by the most idiotic people. Just to listen to these people…it made him weep, honey. Picasso just sat in his studio, painting and weeping! And all the paint got mixed together, maybe that’s why everything just ended up blue!
COURTNEY
Oh! That reminds me! I didn’t pick up the maid of honor dresses, dear. You need to pick them up tomorrow.
RICHARD
Honey, I have to teach class tomorrow. I can’t keep missing my class, it’s- why can’t- this is important to me!
COURTNEY
I know it is, dear. You know I do. Why else would I ask my father to fund your little research things every single year? I do think this stuff is important. To you. And I want my little Richie to be happy. But the wedding’s in three weeks, dear, and if I don’t get those dresses tomorrow, well, trust me: you won’t be happy.
RICHARD
Honey-
COURTNEY
Why don’t you tell me more about “The Unemployed Guitarist,” Richard.
A pause.
RICHARD
“The Old Guitarist.” Notice how the boundaries of the canvas itself affect the composition. Picasso made the old man all scrunched up to show that he’s…trapped. Trapped in a very hopeless situation. My dear God, he’s so trapped.
COURTNEY
Well, the way he’s sitting, that’s really terrible for the back you know. Picasso wasn’t really a master of lumbar support.
RICHARD
Oh God, there’s no way out for this guy! He can’t…he can’t even breathe…that’s…maybe that’s why he’s blue, for God’s sake! He’s trapped by the damn canvas just like he’s trapped in his damn marriage!
COURTNEY
The old man was married?
RICHARD
What? No. No! Poverty!! He was, he’s trapped by poverty! Ha ha! Not his, ha ha! Not his marriage! It was his poverty that, that trapped him. Ha ha ha. He’s…he’s so trapped.
COURTNEY
Oh…OK. Oh and I forgot to tell you, Garland called, and we have to go sign the lease on Wednesday.
RICHARD
What? I…I thought we were gonna…gonna talk about that, I don’t-
COURTNEY
Now, he suggested we go with the fifteen-year plan, but I said to go ahead with the forty-five-year plan, because well, there’s no reason to rush, right?
RICHARD
What? Honey, I-
COURTNEY
I mean, “till death do us part!” Right?
RICHARD
What? I don’t-… Jesus, honey, look at the God damn brush strokes on this thing!
COURTNEY
What?
RICHARD
The brush strokes, the God damn brush strokes! My Lord, they’re just so erratic!
COURTNEY
Dear?
RICHARD
Picasso was crazy, honey! He was insane! Why can’t the old man just look up from his stupid guitar and see what’s happening?!
COURTNEY
He’s using the canvas to affect the composition, dear, you-
RICHARD
Oh, screw all that analysis bullshit, honey, Picasso’s just insane, and he painted an insane guitar player! And…and if he had a damn shred of courage he’d just leave her!
COURTNEY
Leave who, honey? I thought he wasn’t married.
RICHARD
Poverty! “Her” is Poverty! He should just throw out his crappy guitar, walk out of this stupid art gallery, and tell Madame Poverty to kiss his ass! But he doesn’t! He just keeps all that rage bottled up inside! And that’s why he’s blue honey! That’s why he’s blue!
COURTNEY
You get all that from just the brush strokes, dear?
RICHARD
Yes! Yes I do!
COURTNEY
Honey, you know…I’ll never understand your little profession.
