It’s time for another edition of Porter’s Grammar and Style Shack, where I, Porter Mason, teach you how to improve your writing. And boy howdy does your writing need improving. Especially if you are Ayn Rand. Today’s Lesson: Censoring It’s good to censor yourself. It’s always a tough ... More »

Fluffers was a good cat. He never worried his owner. He never ran off. He didn’t hang around with strays. But just like so many other bright young cats his age, Fluffers had a problem. A problem that would one day kill him. It all started back ... More »

Here at T.J. Monkey’s, we are blessed. We are blessed because we have a forum with which to express opinions to the huge masses of people who read the site each and every day (re: Bret and some girl named Nikki). And that’s why today, I take a break from my usually hilarious, ... More »

Everyone always thinks things were so wonderful ten years ago. When you’re a teenager, you wish you were a kid. When you’re in your twenties, you wish you were back in high school. When you’re in your thirties, you wish you were in college again. There is one big exception. ... More »

I saw the Buddha In a little bit of gouda That I had on my eggs this morning. The Virgin Mary Was looking very scary In the butter on my toast this morning. Moses was in the whites of my eggs. In my yolks was Jesus Christ. Mohammed was in my cereal bowl In ... More »