Things that are tagged introduction
- JOHNNY: These next few strips will acquaint you, the reader, with “Johnny”‘s many characters. Sort of an exposition, if you will…
LABEL: “Casual Johnny” available from Mattel
- JOHNNY: For this special event, we have prepared 3-D, laser-guided, virtual reality, Internet-ready holographic “smart” comics (Windows 95 compatible) which allow the reader to interact with the cartoon in a real-time 3-D environment!
LABEL: “Excited Johnny”, also available
- JOHNNY: They’re really quite incredible.
LABEL: “Whimsically Thoughtful Johnny” available only through this special offer
LABEL: AS SEEN ON TV! CALL NOW! SOLD SO FAR: 0
- JOHNNY: Of course, we only MADE two of the things, so most of you won’t actually get to SEE the… well, the “plain” strips are nice, too, very low in fat…
LABEL: “Johnny in Repose” now on display at the John Paul Getty museum
- NARRATOR: Height: 5’10″. Weight: 175 lbs. Hair color: light brown.
- NARRATOR: GPA: 2.54. Favorite TV show: Seinfeld. Siblings: 1.73. Not a NC resident.
LABEL: Slowly rotating!
- NARRATOR: Ethnic Makeup: 75% Caucasian, 11.4% Asian-American, 8.4% African-American, 3.7% Hispanic, 1.5% other.
- NARRATOR: Johnny Williams: An average Duke student.
JOHNNY: Aside from the fact I’m 2-D and my eyeballs are the size of West Texas…
- JOHNNY: This here’s one of my roommates, William.
- JOHNNY: Ol’ William here is a computer science major. Ain’t that right, Will?
WILLIAM: It’s William. And yes.
- JOHNNY: Yeah, William’s great. He’s really, I mean, you know, he’s a real…. I, uh, well, socially, I mean, WOW! It’s, you know, uh…
- WILLIAM: I’m a @%#?/! NERD, all right, Johnny? Now can I get back to my Duke Nukem game?
JOHNNY: YOU KNOW, I was TRYING to shy away from words like that…
