Things that are tagged introduction
- NARRATOR: Consider if you will: an average Duke student. His name: Johnny Williams.
NARRATOR: He is normal in every respect. He IS the status quo.
- NARRATOR: Why then has he been chosen to start in a big budget daily comic?
- A pause.
- JOHNNY: Well?!
NARRATOR: Hold on… I’m thinking…
- NARRATOR: Two characters, both alike in dignity…
- NARRATOR: In fair li’l Durham, where we lay our scene…
Note: End of lame Shakespeare parody…
- NARRATOR: One, a human. The other, a bat. Both equally marketable as potential Happy Meal toys.
- NARRATOR: And so, a strip is born, and with it, new hope. Hope for a brighter future.
JOHNNY: One with easier orgo tests…
MO: Ay, there’s the rub…
- JOHNNY: Greetings, readers! Shalom and welcome to the exciting world of “Johnny”! I’m the main character of the strip, Jonathan G. Williams. You may remember me from my earlier work in the Chronicle, such as “Guy Watching TV” or “Guy at the Airport”…
- JOHNNY: Right now, I’m in Charlotte, NC, standing outside of “Johnny” headquarters, where the strip is conceived, written and performed…
- JOHNNY: Inside, writers, artists, and interpretive dancers work long hours to give YOU, the consumer, all the cartoon enjoyment you deserve!
- JOHNNY: Remember our slogan: “If it’s high-quality, state of the art cartooning you want, well, we just can’t help you… but if it’s cheap, quick humor you want, then brother, WE’RE FULL OF IT.” Or, more simply, “We’re full of it.” Good night and God bless.
NOTE: Last panel of the wordiest strip ever.
